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So That Happened – A Functional Rustic Barn Story

So That Happend A Functional Rustic Barn Story.png

I live a charmed life. I am reminded of this fact every morning when I go outside. I’m surrounded by the tranquil sights and sounds of nature. After all, I basically live in the middle of the woods. Deer hang out in the yard, a Blue Heron is living in the pond and a family of Beavers call our wetlands home.

Life is a collection of moments.
Life is a collection of moments.

The cherry on top of the charmed sundae I call my life though, are my Muscovy Ducks and Bronze Turkey. Until a year ago I didn’t even know Muscovy Ducks or Bronze Turkeys existed, much less believed I would ever call them my friends. These quirky feather friends continue to take me on new adventures each and every day.

Gladys (left), Bronze Turkey with 2 Muscovy Drakes – Brutus (top) and Larry (bottom). Some of the birds of Functional Rustic. All of the birds are about six months old in this photo.

The birds teach great life lessons and are actually wonderful role models for me.

The ducks welcoming the turkey, Gladys, into their flock reminds me of the importance of welcoming others into my circle and accepting people as they are.

Seeing Amelia Air Duck build a nest in an empty box in the barn (instead of in the nesting box I built her) teaches me to think outside of the box. (Haha…a duck in a box inspires me to think outside of the box.)

And watching Gladys stay near the barn for over a month after she was attacked (neighbor dog ripped out all her feathers on her back and breast) instead of heading to the pond with her duck friends highlighted the importance of taking care of myself.

Gladys and Sarah
Me (the human) with Gladys (the Bronze Turkey of Functional Rustic). She finally got the courage to go to the pond so I did a photo shoot with her to celebrate.

The Muscovy Ducks and Bronze Turkey of Functional Rustic teach me a lot about ducks and turkeys too. For instance, Muscovy duck eggs are twice the size of extra large chicken eggs and a bronze turkey egg is twice the size of the Muscovy egg.

Bronze Turkey Egg. Muscovy Duck Egg. Large Chicken Egg.

Today’s lesson from the Muscovy Ducks was also about eggs – making the eggs that is. That’s right folks, I’ve got duck porn for you!

The morning started out normal enough. I was filming the sunrise and decided to get some video of the birds. Usually these videos are of them wiggling their butts, eating or swimming – duck stuff. Today though, I happened upon Brutus, Goldie and Amelia Air Duck in a duck ménages à trois.

So here is how I think this all happened. Amelia Air Duck started to lay eggs in an empty box in the barn again. Yesterday I cleaned out her nest so I could eat them. Realizing that her nest is no longer safe (someone did steal all of her eggs after all!) she needed a new, safe place to lay her eggs.

Goldie, the other Muscovy Hen, is currently sitting on eggs. I theorize that Amelia Air Duck decided that laying her egg onto Goldie’s nest would keep her egg safe. The flaw in that plan though, is that Goldie is not just gonna get off her eggs because Amelia wants her to. So, again I am just theorizing, Amelia just climbs on top of Goldie and lays the egg on top of Goldie.

However, while Amelia Air Duck is trying to pop one out Brutus sees a great opportunity to pop one in – so to speak. When I walk on the scene all I see is Goldie on her eggs, Amelia Air Duck on top of Goldie and Brutus on top of Amelia – duck humping his little heart out.

I still can’t believe how fresh that egg was. It was hot, not warm, hot. And wet. So fresh it had duck juices on it. I didn’t even know that fluids were involved. Now that I think about it though, I’m quite happy to learn that my little ladies have some lubrication to get their eggs out.

To round out the morning it only seemed fitting to get at least one video that wasn’t pornographic. The video below is a typical morning in the Functional Rustic Barn – birds eating while I fill the pool and hose out the barn. Once the coffee is made I fill up my cup and head out the barn see what lessons are to be learned that day.

Written by Sarah Palmer – Owner, Functional Rustic

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14 thoughts on “So That Happened – A Functional Rustic Barn Story

  1. Nice to see you and Gladys cozied up together in a selfie. 🙂

  2. That was a new one for me. I trust her not to hurt me, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t a little scared to have my eye so close to her beak. Ha.

  3. Yes, I noticed that also and thought wow – she was obviously not intimidated by you in the least so likely wouldn’t make any false moves. I was trying to take pictures of Parker dancing around my feet while waiting for peanuts. I hung the Ziploc bag on the fanny pack strap so I could take the picture and use the camera and then hand him some peanuts … he surprised me by putting his front paws, with claws, on the front of my leg – I thought it was going to climb up and get them himself, so I just fed him. I don’t think he would bite, but I still felt a little leery with his claws on my bare leg.

  4. Animals bring such joy with every move they make. Were you able to get pictures of Parker climbing up you? Sounds adorable. Is Parker a dog?

  5. Parker is a squirrel and a precocious one at that. He has a ton of personality and when I go to the Park, he comes racing over to me like Lassie did to Timmy when he got off the school bus in the old “Lassie” TV series. He is the cutest little guy and I named him because he parks himself on my feet if I am trying to take pictures of him or something else and decides he must not wait one more minutes for peanuts. So a few weeks ago, I wanted to get an up close picture of him doing this so I took the peanuts out of the mesh bag I keep them in for easy access, and clipped them to the side of my fanny pack – I figured I could dip into them with my left hand, take pics with the compact digital camera with my right hand. But he was too quick for me and started climbing up my leg. He’s done that in the Winter, but in the Summer, I had bare legs as I had those sock liners and shorts on – a very hot day. So, I backed off, but he did it again. He had sharp claws and I knew he would hurt me, but I didn’t want an accidental scratch so I just fed him. I did this post and the fourth picture down was just before he climbed on me. He could see that Ziploc bag and the peanuts in the bag. Usually it is hanging down and I take the peanuts out and toss them out. He follows me around the Park, behind me, or goes and waits at my car for more peanuts on the days that I drive to the Park. Because I work from home, I don’t drive much but have to take the car out and drive it so I drive it to the Park twice a week … on those days, he often follows me back to the car. I’m afraid someone is not going to see him and roll over him accidentally. This was the post, fourth picture down …

  6. Parker is pure cuteness. At our old house we had a squirrel named Beatrice that we fed. I asked my husband if we could invite her inside and he said, “if she comes in the house all on her own than we can have her in the house.” Much to both our surprise, a month or so later the weather got well below zero. I opened the front door to get mail and Beatrice walked right inside the house. At first I was excited but, then I remembered all the reasons why it is not good to have a wild animal in you home. Ha. Immediately kicked her fluffy butt out. Hahahaha.

  7. That’s funny and squirrels are much bolder than you’d think … I mean, they are small and you are the hulking human. We also had a squirrel for many years in the backyard. He would go in the next door neighbor’s yard as well. We called him “Sammy” … he got treats from Marge and our house. But then, it got to a point that even if we fed him in the morning before we went out, say on a weekend, he would come hanging around the screen door so you had to be very careful not to let him in – he’d be hanging out right there. By then, my mom was on a cane and it was difficult for her to get in and out of the house and she was slow. I had to stand and hold the screen door open for her to get inside the house and chase Sammy away the entire time … so, I don’t feed any more squirrels around the house … they will really make a mess if they get in your house. My grandmother had squirrels in her attic. She lived in Toronto and in an old neighborhood where the houses were all attached. Many neighborhoods in that part of Toronto had attached houses and one neighbor got squirrels and they chewed right through and came into my grandmother’s attic. She had to hire an exterminator to catch all of them and was not too happy!

  8. I can only imagine how a squirrel would destroy the house. I do not actually want a wild animal living with us but, it is so fun to see the look on my husbands face when I tell him I am actively attempting to coax an animal into the living room. Ha.

  9. It is probably a look of horror no doubt!

  10. He likes to give me a hard time about joking about brining in animals but he keeps bringing injured birds inside. One of them healed itself and then began flying around the house. Haha.

  11. Now that is funny. Well at least it got better and took flight, even if in the house. Living in a rural area, that is not so shocking as living in the city with a bird in your house. See, around here we get all aflutter if there is a sparrow zooming around Meijer when we are in there shopping. They come in through the door sometimes.

  12. Well, the bird gaining flight is bitter sweet story. All we knew is he flew out of the bath room. We did not see to where he flew. Over the next few days we would hear him fly into a wall or knock something off a desk but by the time we got in the room he was hiding again. Found his little corpse a week later behind a file cabinet. Ugh.

    Also, very hard to sleep or feel relaxed when you know there is a wild bird loose in the house.

  13. Oh yes, that would be disconcerting … we had some parakeets over the years and then two canaries after that. The canaries never came out of the cage, except one day, when I first got the last one, he squeezed past my arm and took off. He flew down the hall and went into the bathroom – I was afraid he fall into the toilet but he flew onto the vanity countertop and I grabbed him with a towel and never let him have more than one inch of space when I went into his cage through his feed cup or water cup area. The parakeets were allowed to come out of their cage, but only to sit on a finger or a shoulder and that was it – they get out and fall behind a fridge or a piece of furniture and you can’t see them, you are indeed sunk, just like your little friend.

  14. The part I found most interesting is I have yet to find bird poop in the house. It’s nice to find a silver lining in these situations. ha.

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